Sometimes when you fall...

It’s up to you to decide: do you get up and try again or do you just give up and go to bed? I chose to get up and go again. I always said that every fall is a new beginning. And the fall is painless; it's the landing that hurts you. It’s those moments when you are down and you are vulnerable that make you realise how strong you are.

Because of the type of stories I write sometimes I get to close to my subjects emotions. And because I try to write a realistic scene I tend to emote my characters feelings. But when you go through a period where you are more vulnerable than usual (and it happens even to the best of us) some of those particular traits affect you more than others. So I took a few days off and focused on getting back where I was. Sometimes when a scene or a story feels disappointing, the doubts start creeping in and you start wondering if you are cut for this. And for a long time in my life every time these doubts crept in, I decided to put my writing on the back burner. Not a great idea since the feelings, the stories, the characters and even though it sounds crazy, the voices – and people that write novels know those voices – are constantly in your head and because you don’t do what comes as an instinct to you they overwhelm you.

So this time I decided to ignore those idiotic doubts and keep at it. I am strong and I can do whatever I choose to do because my life has prepared me for everything. So to all of those little doubts in my mind: I can do it. Nothing can stop me. There are no limits, no trials, and no excuses. I will do it.

This was the decision that I took today while walking through London. With the sun caressing my skin, feeling the wind in my hair and music in my ears it was easier to go back to the basics. I accepted that maybe I changed too many details from the initial story, that maybe I complicate things a tad, so in the end I went back to my research and my novel.

It might take me longer (fudge my need for perfection) and it might take me a bigger investment in Bible Juice and Coloured Water, but in the end, I chose to try again. And if I fail, this time I will fail better. And if I fall again this time I will fall harder.

The falling is the easy part,

The landing is the part that hurts,

But that feeling when you get up

And try again

Is the reason to live...