1. Apply eyeliner on a train: I don't usually wear make-up because I am too lazy to apply the damn thing, but I have to applaud girls that manage to apply their eyeliner on the tube! I always compared that action with the act of a one-fingered stand performed by a circus acrobat! And I must admit I am daily intrigued by the fact that, considering the number of women I saw performing this testing trial, we are not surrounded by women looking like the Joker on a bad make-up day!
That's just scary...
2. Tried and tested: wrap your hands for a boxing class on a train! Due to my fashionable habit of being late (not recently) I ended up taking the train instead of walking! And because I knew I was already late, in my desire to box, I decided the best thing (and time-saving once I got to the gym) was to wrap my hands, as the train was a fairly empty one! I am not sure if I should take it as a compliment or an insult that either everyone was impressed by my wrapping skills or scared of what I might next do. And the entire process of wrapping my hands while balancing a backpack, a pair of boxing gloves, a phone, my Oyster and my cat-wallet with my gym card was a disaster. I think it's safe to say that I shall not be adding multitasking to my spy CV.
3. Talk to strangers on the street. Just because I think they are lovely gay dudes, that doesn’t mean that I should stop and speak to them. In my defence the last guy that stopped me told me that I have "pretty long hair"! I would have been quite disturbed if a girl would have said something like that, never mind a man. Might I just add that I am always in the market for boys that I can take shopping with me, so when he mentioned his ex-girlfriend I took it as a sign from above that I should stop speaking to him so I mumbled out that I was late for a circus class. It was a feeble excuse, but my brain was shocked from the revelation that we do not play for the same team.
4. Ask your friends for weird favours in public. Due to the nature of my novel I find myself in strange discussions. Because most of the time in the back of my head I have a mental to-do list, I recently offered to a friend the possibility to chloroform and "ruffie" her. I did not even realize that there were other people around and that maybe what I said was strange (and if I would be just slightly normal, worrying to say the least)! It made sense, as I needed someone to try it out so my scene has the authenticity factor in it. Next to that came the request that someone should tie me up for two-three hours while my eyes are covered (I promise you that I don't write a bad erotic novel).
5. Never, but never go to antigravity yoga and afterwards to a boxing class while nursing a hangover. Quite recently I had one of the biggest hangovers that I have ever managed to put myself through in recent months. Between the burpees and the upside down hanging, I am happy to report that my relationship with Jäger shots is done. And my brain is relieved.
Maybe it looks great, but it feels sh*t...
6. Use a selfie stick in an area with people in a hurry. Look I get it; it's an exciting invention. In the end, it is a stick that manages to capture narcissistic features. But as a person that is always in a hurry and like my mom would say a person that disregards the concept of time, I don't want to have to end up in prison for sticking the said device somewhere that I can't mention on my blog. So people please, for my own good and the safety of your health stop using those silly utensils of crazy inducing anger and rage.
Scientists are excited by a new discovery: the evolved version of the Stick Insect
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