London Traffic

For the last few days, I have encountered an issue while doing my regular trips towards my amazing gym (I will explain later why I think my gym is truly great). Today was my third day that I was nearly hit while walking… by a pigeon. So now that it happened three times in a row I have an issue: is it three different pigeons or do I have on my hands a "stalking" pigeon. There is the possibility that maybe I had it wrong from the beginning. You see I always assumed (biology be damned) that due to the long cohabitation period between the pigeon species and the human one that two things happened:

1.         We as humans have managed to learn to ignore the little menaces

2.         Pigeons have evolved and developed a system that warns them when they are in close proximity to a human or nearly hitting them. Like one of those alarms in cars that makes fairly annoying noises when you park or when you forget to put your seatbelt.

In my little imagination, I see pigeons as evolved species that have spy like abilities. (You will notice throughout my posts that I respect and hope to one day become a spy. Or a ninja spy assassin without the assassination bit, as it does sound quite tedious. So if any spy agencies are in the market for new additions to their books please let me know where to send my extensive spy CV). I always thought pigeons are able to sense when they get to close to a potential human victim and fly away (such a cool spy ability).

So now back to my problem: I was minding my own business (and by that I mean walking along the now infamous Shaftesbury Avenue – will post later why Shaftesbury Avenue is now in my bad books) when this crazy looking pigeon flew straight towards me. I did what every pretend spy would do: one of those crazy ducking moves – thank you boxing. But it only looked impressive if you did manage to see the little menace fly straight towards me. Hmmm… maybe I got this wrong (again) and I am on some sort of pigeon hit list. Maybe this is my moment, the one where I realize that is it up to me to save the world from a potential pigeon invasion. So now that my fellow ninja spy assassin is busy perpetuating the human species I assume it’s all up to me. I must design an outstanding outfit if I am to save the world. And have to purchase a great pair of shoes. Now, I have to put my writing on the back burner and worry about the future of this planet. So my book might have to be delayed for a while as I found the best reason to procrastinate.

I will have to keep an eye on pigeons and keep me out of their malicious wings. I think I am clairvoyant as I started boxing again a few weeks ago. So wish me good luck, I am off to save the world from pigeons…